stretching old muscles

I’m taking an acting class at the Rep. It was both a spontaneous decision and not…I’ve been thinking about theater a lot since I graduated, and even checked out the classes on offer at the Rep before. But when I randomly went back to the page and saw Acting I would be starting in a few weeks, I went home and signed up the same day.

I was a teenage werewolf theater nerd/drama freak/whatever you want to call it. Every summer growing up I did theater camps, was in plays all through high school, and even managed to squeeze one show in during college. I breathed drama – as any other theater kid knows, you spend what feels like half your life either on stage or hanging around in the wings or the dressing rooms or “helping” in the scene shop and getting in everybody’s way.

It feels incredibly natural and incredibly strange to be back in that headspace, all at the same time. A big part of the reason I was eager to sign up was watching Broadway vlogs…my heart ached for that cast family feeling, the thrill of it. A class isn’t exactly the same thing, and I don’t know if I have the time or, more importantly, the talent to find a theater home again, but saying words aloud that aren’t necessarily mine is such a good feeling. I’ve always loved to read aloud, whether it was my own work, a book, or a play. We’re working on a monologue in this class, and even reading over it, I get excited to perform it for my classmates.

Maybe it’s just because writing is my primary passion and obviously I did end up making that a career (hooray!), but I feel a little bit adrift with this thing that I love that I probably won’t ever do professionally (or maybe even as a hobbyist?). It’s like a little part of me that’s always going to be hungry. Does anyone else have something that makes them feel like that?

These have been Wednesday night thoughts.

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